Hayley Edwards: It’s still too raw for me to visit the Bali bombing memorial at the old Paddy’s Bar site

Twenty years ago, I had not long turned 21 and was serving in the Royal Australian Air Force as a medic and had just completed my aeromedical evacuation course at a RAAF Base in Sydney. My home base was RAAF Williams in Victoria, and my duties consisted mainly of pre- and post-operative orthopaedic care, medical care, pre-hospital emergency care and pre-deployment medicals. On October 12th, 2002, the first news reports filtered through from Bali about explosions in the tourist hot spot of Kuta. Initial reports suggested gas bottles may have exploded, but as the day unfolded it was clear that a targeted terrorist attack had taken place. Like most Australians, I was appalled knowing that something barbaric had taken place. I felt a sinking pit in my stomach. Soon I received the call from my commanding officer to report for duty and was told that we would not be returning for several days. I knew we were more than likely heading to Bali, but even then, as everything was still unfolding, we didn’t anticipate what would greet us. Our unit flew first to Darwin from RAAF Base Williams on a Hercules C-130, to render assistance to the Bali bombing victims in what is now known as Operation Bali Assist. Being newly qualified all I could think about at that time were the operational processes and procedures I had been taught. I was immensely fearful and anxious that I would not remember what I had learnt, as I had not had the opportunity to put any of my skills into practice. From Darwin, we flew to Denpasar airport, preparing to treat a range of injuries from smoke inhalation, crush injuries, broken bones and the most severe burns I have seen. Our aeromedical evacuation team consisted of doctors, nurses and medics. We carried medical supplies such as intravenous fluids and blood products and prepared ourselves to triage and treat the injured. I thought I was ready, but I was unprepared for the chaos that greeted us as we walked onto the tarmac at Denpasar. When I describe it to people, I say it was something like a movie scene, with a makeshift hospital being constructed on the tarmac by colleagues who had landed beforehand. Dozens of stretchers were lined up, many with IV bags hung beside them, as bombing victims were treated and triaged, getting them stable enough for evacuation. The extent of the injuries was horrific, and the smell of burnt flesh is something that I did not realise would be so vivid for me still to this day. I was treating people the same age as me and younger. Many were tourists and backpackers who flocked to the Kuta nightlife district to party and have fun. It seemed surreal to me at the time that I was treating people my age, who just hours before had not a care in the world and were now battling life-threatening injuries. One thing I didn’t expect was the level of hostility we encountered from some Indonesians gathered near the airport perimeter fence. Some mocked and laughed at us while we were treating people and tensions were high. I started to contemplate the reception we were receiving. It could indicate we had walked into a trap, and could be the target of a follow-up attack, as has happened in numerous other terrorist attacks, where emergency services and first responders have been hit by secondary denotations. It was clear our presence was not welcomed by all. Looking back now, 20 years on, everything moved so quickly. The moment we landed we immediately set about treating and triaging the victims and were working as fast as possible to get everyone to safety in Australia, or at least in the air on the Hercules C-130, where we were safe and had control over the environment. Some of the victims hadn’t received treatment for several hours, so by the time we got there, many were in severe fluid deficit, along with serious untreated open wounds, making this a time-critical situation for every patient. On my flight back to Darwin were several high-profile football players with burn injuries so severe, I feared they would not survive. Our unit flew out to Operation Bali Assist on Sunday morning and did not return to Australia until the Wednesday. I believe if the operations of the RAAF had not been as precise and efficient as they were, we would have lost many more people than the 202 who perished. The real heroes of the Bali bombings are the survivors, their friends and families, many who carry visible lifelong scars from the experience. Then there were those in the middle of the explosions, who helped carry the wounded to safety, risking their own lives — they were truly heroic. All who were there have the invisible scars that are reopened each year around this time. They have received a lifelong sentence. So, the recent news that one of the bombers Umar Patek, a member of al-Qaida, could have his sentence reduced by half after participating in this barbaric terrorist attack has made me so angry and disgusted. I can’t imagine how the victims and their families must feel. Indonesia is a beautiful place, with unique diversity and tolerance of different religions, but if the Indonesian Government does not punish mass murder in an appropriate way, I fear more extremists could follow suit, as these extremists are often martyred by their communities. I left the air force in 2004 and joined Ambulance Victoria and became a qualified paramedic. Being a part of Operation Bali Assist made me realise that in times of crisis and in emergency situations was where I was at my best, leading me into a career of providing pre-hospital emergency care to all Australians, dealing with the tragedies, deaths, births, and perils of life. It was the most fulfilling job I have ever had. I played a small part in the overall operation and was so lucky to have been part of a team of incredibly skilled doctors, nurses and surgeons whose efforts were instrumental in saving so many lives. I have travelled back to Bali twice since 2002, but I cannot go near or visit the Bali bombing memorial at the old Paddy’s Bar site. Even now, two decades on, it’s still too raw for me, and I suspect it will always be the case. Hayley Edwards is Deputy Mayor of Rockingham.